The Story of the UniBang what REALLY happened
by burnstuff
Summary: Quatre and Trowa's usual morning stroll goes HORRIBLY (or wonderfully?) wrong. 3x4. Final chapter up. Yes squealy fools your torment is over.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Yeah I own Gundam Wing. And this really happens to Trowa.  
  
Warning: Alright. For all you squeamish het guys...this does have yaoi content..but nothing detailed as 3x4 scares me too.  
  
Comments:  
  
Unlike anything I ever recall reading. quite disturbing and kinda umm yeah - Loz  
  
It was very very disturbing - Fleur  
  
Just really weird but kinda kool - Liz (yes the one we ate...)  
  
Mwyar! It was tres great! Kakkoi! Uni-Bang go BOOM! EXPLODEY EXPLODEY BANG BANG BOOM! Hehe - Ackradin  
  
Bwahahahaha, haha, hahaha. If this story were a plate, then all the food you put on it would fall off. SPLODEY POWERS!!! I like ducks. - Doom  
  
Aha ï 


	2. Part 2: The Aftermath

Disclaimer: Yeah, one day a long long time ago before I was born, I was sitting around doing nothing in particular and I came up with Gundam Wing. Uh huh..

Warning: Well..there won't really be any yaoi content in part 2 so theres no need to freak out.

Part 2: The Aftermath

In the last episode of Dragonball z...no wait...the Uni-Bang story..Quatre went crazy after Trowa's mind imploded and is now living among the ducks.

It was a cloudy, windy summers day. Quatre was splashing around in the pond, his home for the past two years. He was still wearing the clothes from that fateful day, refusing to change as he thought he could still smell Trowa on them. It was surprising really, how he hadn't caught hypothermia, but I guess it's just one of those mysterious never-to-be-explained things.

Another strange thing to consider, was (not why this strange boy was living with ducks) but whether the uni-bang had grown over this period of time. To some it seemed to have strange powers, either with stoppin Quatre getting hypothermia, or just making him shrink. (don't take that sick. I know at least one of you will. Not looking at anyone ) So, uh...where was I? Oh yeah, the uni-bangs "powers". Ahem. Well...um..damnit I had something...stupid snickers bar, making me forget.

Lets go back to Quatre's joyful splashing. So, Quatre was splashing around...and then HE SUDDENLY FELT A VIOLENT TWITCHING IN HIS RIGHT CHEEK, UNDER THE UNI-BANG, JUST LIKE TROWA HAD ALMOST TWO YEARS BEFORE. WELL THAT WAS IN HIS FORHEAD...but nontheless his face was spaziming out of control, like Trowa's forehead.

"AHHH!" he screamed (yes just like on that fateful day) "I THINK I'VE GOT CANCER IN MY CHEEK!" and with that he collapsed in the water, and nearly drowned. I say nearly because, well first I don't want my story to end like this as I have a great explosive ending all ready..hehe explosive, and the pond was only six inches deep. And no, he wasn't rescued by the miracle of realising the depth, but by his duck masters, who weren't ready to lose their faithful servant just yet.

So he was pecked and quacked at until he awakened from passing out like a small pansy child who is afraid of seeing someone drink their blood.  
"Oh, thank you, gracious masters, if it were not for you I would not be alive to serve you for the rest of my pathetic existance." Quatre bowed, pressing his forehead deep into the mud, which was covered in duck filth and most likely his own. He then remembered the pain in his face, and his terrifying thoughts of having cancer in his beloved cheek of Trowa emerged once more.

Quatre frantically searched his face for any sign of a cancerus lump. He was about to breathe a sigh of relief when...he found one. Under the glue. Resisiting the urge to scream like a girl, he flung himself deeper into the filth-convered mud and began praying desperatly to the duck god, Uni-Quack.

After his ritual of bowing in duck shit Quatre resumed his freaking out session. His cheek spazomed(?) violently. Then suddenly, he came to a conclusion.(Not a very good one, I must say, but one nontheless.)  
"Trowa will be reborn in my cheek!" He exclaimed to no one. So Quatre strutted around proudly in a duck-like fashion(yes like Cid in FF7) proclaiming his discovery to unsuspection passer bys.

"My cyclops boyfriend, whos head imploded almost two years ago, is reborn in my cheek where I glued the remains of his hair!" He then found some wet cement, and becoming more and more like Trowa, used it as hair gel to accentuate the uni-bang which was protruding from his face. 

As Quatre, in his stupidity, was no longer concerned with the possibility of have cancer in his face, took the growing lump as a good sign. He skipped, danced, strutted and even frolicked merrily, until the pain in his face was too much to bear. By now, the lump has swollen to the size of Trowa's one green cyclops eye(and just as stretched), so you can imagine, it was rather hideous.

"The time has come for my beloved to return to me!" with an odd, creepy, slightly perverted look of glee(yes glee) he did his ritualistic rolling in the duck filth covered mud. Only this time it was different. Yes children, it was. This time was special. 

And then it happened. Like when a nerd squeezes his pimply pus-filled face or when you stick a needle into your eyeball. The cyclops-eye shaped lump burst. Well it was a rather strange burst. Like a reverse burst or maybe even an IMPLOSION(imburst?) Anyways the lump exploded(not imploded) out of Quatre's cheek(like when Pustulio pops on Zim's face) and all the gunk poured out.

Quatre fell to his knees, gasping, after the hideous ordeal. He gathered enough courage to touch what was left of his face. His fingers found a large hole in his right cheek beneath the uni-bang, which was surprisingly still attached. (yeah the wonders of modern glue) Being a curious creature, he pushed his fingers into the gaping hole.(DO NOT make that sick, its supposed to be gross) and found....gasp.....nothing. Nothing but an endless void. But wait an endless void? I hear you ask. Yes an endless void. LIKE THE ONE IN TROWA'S HEAD. more gasping (or something...) It then proceeded to suck the flesh off his arms. Quatre, by the way, was screaming uncontrollably, because this would hurt like fuck.

All that was left of his right arm were bones. (yes arm bones) And the void found this interesting, as this was a curious void and it liked bones. So the void took the bones aswell, and, believe it or not....it took the rest of his body with it. Well..it didn't take the uni-bang(it was still afraid even after all those years).

So after Quatre's fleshless(is that even a word?) body was sucked into the void, the void continued to pull everything else in. The surrounding trees, grass, Quatre's flower friends, his duck masters, the pond water, innocent bystanders and even the duck filth was sucked into the vacuum of a void the size of a grapefruit. A regular grapefruit, not one of those tiny annoying ones, or the abnormally large ones. So, basically the entire world and the colonies...well and what was left of the universe(except for hell) were now gone. Nobody knows where. Well, maybe we do, we just don't want to share our vast knowledge of our void friends.

And all that remained was hell. Because we are superior to other...um..stuff. Yes. Well how could we operate hell if it was sucked into oblivion? I mean...if it was sucked...somewhere...yeah...somewhere that no one knows exists. I SAID YOU DON'T KNOW IT EXISTS.

Oh yeah. The Uni-Bang was also left. Then after like 500 million years, the void got over its immense fear of the stupidly shaped hair and sucked it in. Yes hell still existed after all that time, and our lives were joyous and peachy. And we frolicked with Quatre's skeleton. (You DO realise I am being sarcarstic. No i mean about the frolicking. Hell did still exist. Goddamn, you people are stupid.) Anyways as I was saying before you tried to confuse me and make me write things about pink and bunnies, and alive happy joyful ones, not the ones I like to nail to walls. Ahem. As the Uni-Bang was being sucked into the void, it plugged it up and the void choked and died.

End

-E.I

Yes this is actually the end. Not like last time..when I decided to continue writing after I'd put "The End" in giant letters. So its the end.............what do I do now?......I'm not obsessed with this at all.....Uh.......Maybe a part 3? Hmm? How would that sound? What could I call it? Part 3: How the void choked on the Uni-Bang coz the Uni-Bang was swarming with head lice? I like that.....fine Sammich. (Sammich says its TOO long.) ...........................................Well uh.............hmmmmmm......blahhhhhh...I'm BORED AGAIN. YES AGAIN. I should write my other story. Great Prickleman and the Pile of White Chocolate Buttons. Yeah..I'll start that one another day. Okay..so I started it like two years ago and I never wrote past chapter 2. And then I deleted it. And wrote it again. And deleted it again. I lost count. Well I did that alot, as you can see Yugi. No I'm not actually addressing Yugi, it's an expression. Not that you'd understand. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME AND MY BRILLIANCE.  
I suffer.....sob.....because I am better.

**schycosamri: **Well I was originally intending to have Relena bashing but I got carried away and forgot. And normally, I have nothing against Quatre but I had to add him in because of proper pairings. And I wonder...will YOU have anything against my next fanfic? (It has Jesus bashing)  
-psychotic laughter-


End file.
